My June Wrapup

 Happy Pride Bitches, 

This month has been a month of uncertainty, weirdly of creeping dread the best kind. 

If your in the U.S right now then your probably famaliar with whats been happening with the supreme court but I've also had just more personnal problems. I've started my new job but it also comes with its own complications not work complications thank god my boss and coworkers are great and the foods amazing but just life stuff that gets in the way. Its something I'm working on but its also with gas prices and just cost of living rn one of those stays home because its too expensive, (and hot were hit 103F yesterday), to go outside. 

So let me actually just mention some of the things that happened this month. 

• Roe V Wade got overturned. 
• I uncorked last years Nocino and it was fantastic
• Successfully rebranded my content, (my last video got 40 views which is great for me) 
• My dad got his 6-month chip, congrats dad
• and my great aunt Krystal died at the age of 92. 

So its been not even a month of high and lows but just a kind of general adult enniu. l'angoisse du capitalisme.

oh wait this is a blog where I talk about movies or some shit what were my viewing habits, so first still haven't seen 13 Reasons Why I just didn't feel like watching teenage drama porn this month. I really don't know if I watched a lot of anything this month, its been a month of getting back into self acutallizing, starting my spanish lessions again, getting back on my diet, actually sitting down and figering out how much taxes I owe the IRS, (ew), so I'm still gaining momentum, 

I managed to watch 14 films this month so there is that, some of them were great like Mitchell vs The Machine, The Old Ways, and It Follows and some where just kinda eh. 

So enough Chatting lets get into the THE GOOD STUFF

PODCAST 

Tanis

Referenced: The Brothers of the Mount, Rabbits

Ok anybody whose spent some time on the original blog or have just looked through my archive might remember that I was a bit of a superfan for The Black Tapes Podcast. Tanis was its sister podcast. Now this is just scuttle butt but the original podcast network was founded by Paul Bae and Terry Miles and its was considered pretty common knowledge that Paul Bae was the main ideas guy behind the First Season of TBT while season 2 was primarily written by Terry Miles. At some point Paul Bae left the company and Miles rebranded his podcast network to the Public Radio Alliance. Later podcasts like Rabbits and The Last Movie are part of PRA but Tanis is technically part of both PRA and PNWS. As a big fan of this unfiction podcast network I did try to start to listen to Tanis multiple times and I never truly finished the first season. I still can't remember if I finished the finale but I'll eventually get to it. 

One of the things that the community likes to joke about is how formaliac some of the writing is. and no I don't mean the monster of the week stuff I mean how every theme song is by Ashley Park, (Terry Miles Solo Project) with clips from the first five episodes played between lyrics, the Tanis Boom after revelations, the copywrite for Bombas socks, the continous Deepthroat style interviews that occur. 

Now don't get me wrong being a writer will do that Alice Isn't Dead and Within the Wires are very different from Welcome to Night Vale, But after listening to them you can tell how Cranor and Finks writing styles influenced the original show. 

Miles likes to write in this very stream of consiousness style and throws in all sorts of bits and bobs for flavor, here is a short list of things that are referenced in the first season. 

• The Hermatic Order of the Golden Sunr
• L Ron Hubburb, the founder of scientology
• Charles Manson
• The Black Eyed Children creepypasta
• The Dissapearence of Eliza Lam/The Cecil Hotel
• Number Stations
• The Servant Girl Annihilator
• Dungeons and Dragons/Baba Yaga
• The Suicide of Kurt Cobain, (implied)

Miles enjoys combining fake with real which isn't really a surprise when the whole podcast network is unfiction and this podcast is hosted by the writer and creators canonical cousin, (who sounds just like him wink wink).

What I'm getting at is that Tanis is a good podcast for what it is, if you enjoy wandering kinda spooky storys filled with weird old args or stories then this is the type of shit for you. At the same time if your've listening to any of the other PRA properties then you might have brush up against the same face syndrom. 

VIDEO GAMES

Terraria

Referenced: Survive

So when I was very young around 12 I bought two games for the PC and I felt very proud of myself by which I mean grateful to my grandma for the present. Those two games was the iconic Gone Home and the lesser known platforming building game Starbound. Starbound came out a few years after Terraria and shared its 2.5D tileset art style and platforming dynamic. I always assumed due to the art style that this game would be similar but with a more minecraft/fantasy vibe. I was wrong and I realized that I really really didn't care for Terraria

Now I recently had someone point out that there might be a genre bias here that maybe I like Starbound more because I like Science Fiction more then fantasy and that is something I do need to consider because to be honest I don't gravitate torwards traditional fantasy games. But to be fair I don't gravitate towards generic high fantasy games or stories. It should also be mention that I'm a DM I technically write High Fantasy Stories but I tend to incorporate a lot of different genres, From Noir to Southern Gothic. 

So I want to state my bias I'm not into Sword & Sorcery stories most of the time but thats not the main issue. The main issue is that theres this redicoulas learning curve in this. It's not as bad or as unaccesable as Drawf Fortress but its definetly a runner up. 

To give you an example of why this is an issue the first game I played I died so many times during the night that my corpses made my spawn location a cemetary which means that more enemies attacked and that it was always night. Essentally soft-locking that game file. 

And the only reason why I found out that nights don't last for 15 minutes is that I got frestrated and started looking it up on the wiki. 

So I said fuck it I restarted and went through that cumbersome world and creation setup and started a new world in easy or story mode or some shit and I realized that I just had no motivation to keep playing. The U.I is hard to understand and not easy to navigate, the quest system is basically like the achievement system in minecraft but unlike minecraft the building system and materials aren't readily apparent. I also expected more out of the NPCS hoping that it might be like, (get ready for an obscure flash game reference), Utopian Mining which was a very small mining game on Kongregate by Game Developer Schulles. You control a little robot and as you complete quests the town around you grows as more people move in. I figured if I built the guide a house some other rando would come by and give me quests but no. 

I was just left by my lonesome in a dangerous world that I am unequiped to fight against struggling against a U.I that has the complexity of World of Warcraft with none of the build up and a story that wasn't readily apparent and to be honest that just didn't attract me. I really wish I could have liked this game because I do like challenging games, (within reason), and sandbox games, but it just didn't work for me. 

MOVIES

Naked 

Referenced: Russian Doll

Maylon Wayan I may have watched this on Netflix and therefore the price I paid for this is neglible but you still owe me money. 

This was without doubt one of the deeply unfunniest movies that I've seen in a hot minute. 

I want to break this down, this movie say groundhogs day, busted a nut to it, and then found out about Naken(2001) and was like OMG penises thats so funny. But see heres the thing, first of all Groundhogs Day is a goddamn masterpiece and while Naken looks like, no offense, a skinmax porno, it at least has the european laiza faire attitude against nudity. I downright hate American sex comedies because there usually outdated, sexist, and produced by repressed prudes that won't even free the nip. Its like a Strip Club where everyones wearing parkas whats the point. 

Now to be fair this movie calms down first 20 minutes in so we don't have to spend the movie like its that extended gag from Rush Hour 2, (Chris Tucker would never). I know I'm horrible dissapointed for the stans that wanted the Maylon Wayans extended butt cut. 

So lets actually breaks this down why do I hate this movie. 

Mostly its just Maylon Wayans, the other characters were fine this is a broad comedy so I wasn't expecting much in terms of characterization but dear lord Wayans I've seen you in other movies what the fuck is this. Every single scene Wayan overacts in the most horrible cringey way possible. I haven't seen jokes this tortured since Not Cool. Wayans is a man child to the point that I really want to know how he functions by himself or what his wife sees in him. And heres the thing you can be a bitch and still have friends in a time loop story look at Russian Doll, Natasha Lyonne's Character still needs to grow but I'd still hang out with her at the beginning of the series but Wayan's character is beyond insufferable. Here is a list of ways he failed as a person. 

• Refuses a Full Time Job not because of location or opportunities elsewhere but because he doesn't want commitment. 
• Missed his plane due to buying a Lottery ticket which means he showed up at the airport less then 15 minutes before he was supposed to board which is a huge faux pas
• Made scene in said airport
• Skipped out on his wedding dance lessions for unknown reasons, (they were not good reasons)
• Did not write wedding vows
• Got blackout drunk the day before his wedding for unclear reasons
• Is annoying
• Also it took him 7 FUCKING YEARS TO PROPOSE

never before in a rom-com have I said the words leave him honey they ain't no dick in the world thats that good for you to put up with this shit. 

Anyway he winds up in an elevator buck ass naked all the way across town and the weddings in an hour oh no whatever will he do. 

The answer is make me cringe for an hour and a half. 

So the standard Groundhogs day formula weirdly enough follows the Kubler Ross Grief Stages

Denial: Does not believe one is in a time loop

Anger: Looks for someone to blame, test out lack of consequence

Depression: reaches the low point of the second act where they just go through the motions or in the OG GHD, literally goes through a major depressive episode including suicidal ideation

Barganing: Begins seeing what the perimeters of the loop are, tries to fix unfixable things

Acceptence: Period of Self Acceptence and Growth. 

and since this film tries so hard to be Ground Hogs Day I really want to hold it to this standard and the worse thing is that it fails. 

And no your film doesn't have to follow the formula but Time Loop movies are going to have similar story beats due to the conventions of the genre and if your going to use those conventions you need to pull them off. 

What sucks about this movie is that the time loop is only an hour which can definelty work Run Lola Run time loops where 15 minutes BUT

it really stretches the fucking conceit when I'm told that its nearly impossible to get there on time in the first couple loops and then have him somehow manage to due a truly ridicoulas number of things in an hour. Such as

• Step out of the elevator and find a change of clothes, 
• Get to his hotel convince the clerk to let him into his room
• Change into his tuxedo
• Print playbills or whatever there called for his wedding,. 
• Buy an appropriate amount of wedding candles
• Buy a wedding ring from a pawn shop
• and then get to his wedding on time. 

Now to be fair the ending does have him getting there by police escourt but he supposedly did not use that method of transit in the earlier bargening phase. Its insulting to my intelligence. I can absolutely believe that Bill Murrey managed to find a book on chiropracty in a midwestern town some time in the 33 years he spent in that loop especially when he had a 24 hour period to look for it. I am insulted to think that Maylon Wayan somehow found the time and could not delegate the ability to buy white pillar candles for his wedding when he did not have a car or money. 

The Character Arc in this is really fake too. Wow Wayans I'm so glad that you learned from a biker gang thats its a dick move to not give a shit about things your wife thinks is important. Wow Wayans its so nice of you to crash that couples wedding and then quote Emily Dickenson for your wedding vows, (Also cannonicaly his character is an English teacher so you think he would know some good sounding mush off the top of his head, like quote a shakespear sonnet bitch, your wifes basic I mean shes dating you). I'm so glad it took supposedly several weeks in purgatory for you to do the bare minimum of human decency. 

This movie is basically men is trash the time loop story and I can't even recommend it as a hate watch. I've watched 3 hour movies that went faster then this just saying. 

Rating: So Bad It's Bad

We Have Always Lived In The Castle. 

Referenced: The Hunting of Hill House

The first time I tried to watch this movie It was near the end of 2019 I remember my roommates were out and I was looking for some movie. I had not become a film buff at this point but I knew of Shirley Jackson and at the time I was thinking of making a movie podcast dear god I'm so happy I didn't go down that path. Instead I have a blog which is completly different. This was at least before a year before I read the book or saw Hill House and frankly I really liked it. It was moodly and dark but a very specific brand of gothic. 

I also remember reading the book. I was taking care of my mother during the quarentine and I was in a state of meloncholia, I sat in a chair and vegged out and listen to this as an audiobook in one setting. 

I don't have much to say about this film I loved the script for the most part it really does capture the feeling of Shirley Jackson in a way that maybe even Hill House doesn't. It captures that kind of meloncholia that her work has the slow calm passages the terror that excests in the smallest of moments. 

I will say I don't see this as a perfect adaptation that additions of violence while cinematicly interesting diffently break the tone of the work and the ending just didn't have the same emotional wait as the book. This is by all means not a bad adaptation but like any work something slips through the book. If anything this movie is to faithful to the book to the point that any slight divertation stands out like a sore thumb. 

Other then that this movie is the perfect blend of weird fruedian familiar dynamics and codependent crazy people, Jorgas Lanthimos could never. Its a decent slow burn thriller and I've defenetly seen worse gothic films. 

Rating: Popcorn Film