Movies I Have Seen Part 4

Zombies vs Strippers(2012)

Referenced: CAM, Cabin Fever

"THEY WANT TO STRIP YOUR FLESH!

The Tough Titty is about to go under after losing a lot of money and gaining no customers. After they bring together their staff for the night to declare bankruptcy and lay offs, little do they know that around them the city is being sieged by the walking dead."

Wait were you here for subtle and nuanced depictions of sex work? sorry you should probably watch something like CAM(2018) instead.

Zombies vs Strippers is a Full Moon Features which really should tell you everything you need to know but for those that don't I'll try to explain. Full Moon Features was created in the 1980s  by horror veteran Charles Band. Throughout the years they have made a name for themselves by making truly insane B-Movies. Now I honestly find their catelogue to be hit or miss. I absolute love things like Hideous!(1997) and this film but other movies of theres such as Shrunken Heads(1994) fall far below the mark. 

This is a YMMV type movie. Do you like sexplotation films, do you like absurd b-movie concepts. Would you like to see a discount Sheba Shayne stab a zombie with a stilleto? If the answer to these question is yes then yeah watch this. If you personnaly dislike films that are hypersexual and male gazey then probably not. This is some campy freak shit and I love it but I am very much Trash. 

Rating: So Bad Its Good

The Ritual (2017)

Referenced: Cabin Fever

"YOUR DARKEST DREAM AWAITS YOU

A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that’s stalking them."

This is one of the last films I watched in 2019 and was the beginning of my movie watching binge that bleed into 2020. What drew me to this film besides the really spectacular visuals was its folk and survival horror trappings. Futhark Runes etched into Aspen trees where all over the promotional material and you know I can fuck with that. The main pull for this film really is the visials. The art direction is on point and there's some really great surrealistic dream sequences that just work. From a plot perspective the film falls flat. This is incredible slow burn and while there are some great horror scenes, ( this is one of the few horror films where the creature design is just amazing and the reveal worked so well), most of the horror is left for the last third of the film so there's a lot of angst and not a lot of stabby stabby for shame. Now I'm not saying this is a bad film and there's definitely a lot of aspects I liked about it but as a whole if your not into Slow burn movies YMMV. 

Rating: Meh/Alright Film

Slenderman (2018)

Referenced: Candyman, The Bye Bye Man

"CAN YOU SEE HIM?

In a small town in Massachusetts, four high school girls perform a ritual in an attempt to debunk the lore of Slender Man. When one of the girls goes mysteriously missing, they begin to suspect that she is, in fact, his latest victim."

RING RING

Hollywood: Yes?

Me: Hi, you know that slenderman hasn't been popular since I was in middle school, right? Like what next your going to adapt Ben Drowned. 

I remember seeing this film doing my college years at the Pony Village Theater in Coos Bay. I had just finished watching this film and my eyes were adjusting to the lights of the lobby. A twelve year old boy was leaving with his friends and he scoffed saying, "y'know what that movie was actually kinda trash" and at the time I did not agree with him. (Yes this is a shameful memory why are you asking)

I feel like what I liked about the movie at the time was the high concept this idea tha slenderman was tied into all these old ass folk tales which dumb not genre savy me should have known is the OG slender canon. Looking at this now it is horrible schlocky, slickly produced sure but with about the same level as plot complexity as The Bye Bye Man or Polaroid(2019). You get the gist of it theres some teenagers they watch "we have Ringu at home" and then ol' Slendy just bye bye these kids till they jump off a building after drawing some pictures that are legally distinct from The Eight Pages. 

Honestly, I feel really bad for this film because it tried to go so hard and if I gave out numerical ratings I would rate this higher just for the effort. This definetly doesn't reach the SBIG level but I'm not gonna say don't watch it. Theres definetly an audience out there for bad teenage slasher and for all I know this might be your next cult classic but for the the 2000s Creepypasta stans, just go back to writing your Jeff the Killer Coffee Shop AU this ain't worth it. (Also sound me a link to that it sounds lit)

Rating: Meh/Alright Film. 

Groundhogs Day (1993)

Referenced: Russian Doll

"HE’S HAVING THE WORST DAY OF HIS LIFE … OVER, AND OVER …

A narcissistic T.V. weatherman, along with his attractive-but-distant producer and mawkish cameraman, is sent to report on Groundhog Day in the small town of Punxsutawney, where he finds himself repeating the same day over and over."

Is there anything new I can really say about this film? For Me and what I assume is most Americans. Groundhogs Day defined the Time Loop Sub-genre. Practically ever time loop that I have seen has referenced or payed homage to the movie in some way. From the consistent use of Leitmotifs from Russian Doll and Happy Death Day(2017) to the way that so many Time-Loop Films follow the same plot structure It's undeniable how Groundhogs Day has created the formula for the genre. This is for good reason. Bill Murrey is an incredible strong comedic actor but Groundhogs day manages to create a surprising amount of character growth into a classic Murray comedy. The acting phenomenal, The comedy precise, the narrative and concept immaculate. Hotel? Trivago. There is so much to analysis and breakdown in this film from trying the character growth to the Kuber-Ross Stages of Grief to an intense breakdown of how many days Murrey actual spent in Punxsutawney. This is just a fantastic film with an interesting premise and one of Murrey's strongest characters. 

Rating: Were watching this right now. 

12 Dates of Christmas (2011)

Referenced: Russian Doll

"TWELVE CHANCES TO GET IT RIGHT.

In an attempt to win back her ex-boyfriend on Christmas Eve, Kate ends up ruining her blind date with Miles, a handsome guy she’s been set up with. In a strange twist of fate, Kate is given the chance to re-live Christmas Eve twelve times."

I watched this film back when the main thing on Netflix was ABC Christmas Specials, (One of my favorites at this time was 2017 Holidays In Handcuffs). 12 Dates of Christmas is another one of these silly Rom-com movies that I unironically enjoy. There silly and over the top but I mean hey have you seen Hallmark or Lifetime Christmas specials. Just be glad these films don't have trite formulaic class struggles. American Regionalism who? Bitch we don't know her because this is a time loop story adapted from the song "12 Days of Christmas". (HaHA Get it). Other then that premise its a pretty straight forward time loop movie except its a rom com. The lady wants to stop her ex from dumping her then she finds new dick and she realizes its healthier to move on then try to save a failing relationship when they both can find better partners. Its cute. There's orphans and dogs, and the realization that the new girlfriend is a stuck up bitch your just being petty AF. This is exactly what it looks like on the tin a cutesy ass Christmas movie with the smooching. 

Rating: Popcorn Film

Happy Death Day (2017)

Referenced: Russian Doll

"GET UP. LIVE YOUR DAY. GET KILLED. AGAIN.

Caught in a bizarre and terrifying time warp, college student Tree finds herself repeatedly reliving the day of her murder, ultimately realizing that she must identify the killer and the reason for her death before her chances of survival run out."

Another Film I watched at the Pony Village Theater. Also probably one of the best ones I saw in person in 2017. Christopher Landon has been creating smart Horror Comedies with Blumhouse over the last couple years with the newest one in the universe being Freaky, a freaky Friday homage were a teenager gets body swapped with a serial killer, (think Rob Schneider's "The hot chick" with more stabbing and less urinal humor. Point being Happy Death Day for me was a fun, enjoyable Horror Comedy with some slick editing, clever deconstructions of the genre, and a some satisfyingly twist on the time loop formula. This definitely isn't a film with a lot of rewatch value, (Kinda happens with mystery movies), but it is a lot of fun. 

Rating: Popcorn Movie. 

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Referenced: The Green Inferno

"CAN A MOVIE GO TOO FAR?

A New York University professor returns from a rescue mission to the Amazon rainforest with the footage shot by a lost team of documentarians who were making a film about the area’s local cannibal tribes."

If you have never heard of this film your probably not that into cinema history. I have already giving a fairly thorough description of this history of Mondo and The Cannibal Boom but this film has so much more interest then simple being a seminal film of a 1980s Italian exploitations genre. CH also bares the distinct honor of being considered the first found footage film, (and if you talked to me for more than 5 minutes you know how much I enjoy FF.) The effect of which was so well done that the director Riggero Deodata was actually brought to trial for murdering the actors. Luckily for Deodata he was able to prove the actors where alive but they were still fined for multiple cases of animal abuse, (like ripping open a living turtle).

This is one of those films that make me consider how films can illicit different emotions. Cannibal Holocaust illicits in me complete revulsion. This film is disgusting not because I have a deep moral objection to this film , (though I would understand if some did), but because of the verisimilitude of the actions shown. In case any who are weak of heart or stomach this film features a 5 minute gang-rape scene in complete detail. It is not an easy film to watch. This film is complicated to think about because even though it is a monumental film in cinimatic history its also just for lack of a better term revolting. 

Rating: Its Complicated

Cannibal Ferox (1981)

Referenced: The Green Inferno

"BANNED IN 31 COUNTRIES!

Three friends out to disprove cannibalism meet two men on the run who tortured and enslaved a cannibal tribe to find emeralds, and now the tribe is out for revenge."

Cannibal Ferox is another film from the cannibal boom and one of the inspirations for Roth's homage The Green Inferno. If I'm being honest I actually prefer Ferox over Holocaust in terms of film enjoyment, (Holocaust is like watching Brokeback Mountain(2005), its an important cultural milestone but it fucks you up emotionally). The plot doesn't try to be so meta, the characters are more likable, (and therefore I actually care if they die), and the murders are definitely iconic, (this film is the reason why the phrase "titty hooks" has entered in my lexicon). This film also has some pretty interesting commentary on colonialism something that I did not expect from a film involving rather racist depictions of indigenous people. I will be frank. Do you like exploitation films? Are you comfortable watching the sexual assault of woman or the torture of animals? if you are you can get something out of it. if your not then maybe you can let bygones be bygones like Birth of the Nation(1915) or those 1960s lesbian pulp novels written by old white men. it is what it is. 

Rating: It's Complicated. 

Wild Wild West (1999)

Referenced: Darkest Night

"IT’S A WHOLE NEW WEST.

Legless Southern inventor Dr. Arliss Loveless plans to rekindle the Civil War by assassinating President U.S. Grant. Only two men can stop him: gunfighter James West and master-of-disguise and inventor Artemus Gordon. The two must team up to thwart Loveless’ plans."

Wild Wild West first off is based off of the 1960s Science Fiction Western Show of the same name. One thing of interest is that WWW is considered one of the pro-genitors of the modern Steampunk Genre, specifically Western Steampunk as opposed to the stereotypical Victorian Steampunk. Its important to remember that steampunk striped of genre trapping is science fiction based off of Steam Technology and can exist in many different time frames and locations. (a great example of this is the anthology Steampunk!, which includes a au story where Ceaser creates an analytical machine to play war games. tres l'original). Enough genre more review. 

This film came out in the 1990s and true to form it follow the conventions of 90s comedy. This is not a dig in fact I consider this one of my favorites of the era and genre. This has everything you want in a comedy. First of all it has Will Smith in his heyday pared up with Kevin Kline and their chemistry is great. The steampunk elements are really well-done and I love any comedy that tackles speculative fiction. If you like comedies, especially 90s comedies your probably love this film because its great, its exactly what it says on the tin, and it plays to its genre well. 

Rating: Great Film/Personnel Recommendation. 

Blue Ruin (2013)

Referenced: Green Room, Black Summer

"REVENGE COMES HOME

When the quiet life of a beach bum is upended by dreadful news, he sets off for his childhood home to carry out an act of vengeance. However, he proves an inept assassin and finds himself in a brutal fight to protect his estranged family."

I watched this film in preparation for my review of Saulnier's The Green Room, both as a way to get a sense of Saulnier's directorial style and since it is often compared to the above mention 2015 film. There are a lot of things I really enjoyed about this film and compared to the other works I have seen by him I find this one to be the most artistic take that as you will. but allow me to quote myself. 

"GR is often compared to Saulnier's previous film Blue Ruin(2013)* due to similar themes in the films. Blue Ruin is a slow burn thriller where a drifter, (played by the ubiquitous Macron Blair), seeks revenge for the death of his parents. In both of these films Saulnier takes his characters and throws them into high action sequences that reaffirm the inadequacies of the protagonists. It is the exact opposite of a power fantasy. Saulnier's characters are thrown out of their element and forced to struggle tooth and nail to survive. Green Room is a violent bloody fight acting as a crucible for the characters turning them from scared and incompetent slasher victims to Saulnier's own vision of the action hero."

Saulnier has a fantastic way of understanding the character arc of power fantasy in horror movies. That horror in some sense comes from powerlessness, (think abstractly as literary conflict), but complete powerlessness is unsustainable in terms of tension. Saulnier creates an underdog story that allows us to emphasize with the protagonists while also being able to have a realistic plot that allows the characters to be tortured ever so cruely. As his films go Blue Ruin is much more somber and yet I find the progression of the film much more enjoyable then a variety of films you could generously call "Slow-burn". There's something incredible enjoyable about Saulnier's characters and stories and this is a film where he allows himself to take it slow and show off his craft. 

Rating: Great Film/Personnel Recommendation