The Movies That I Managed To Cross Off My Watchlist in 2021

 

If you haven't noticed I've been on hiatus for the better part of a year. A lot of it has been some level of burnout from 2020 but another good portion of this has been because I kinda bit off more then I could chew. 

The original idea for the blog was too publish eight behemoth articles that covered every single thing I've referenced in a long archival format. If you cant guess writing *checks notes* 52 movie reviews in a row is a bit tiring. so I decided to change things up a bit. 

The new system will involve two articles a month. One talking about the references I've already consumed and the other talking about the referenced material that I saw over the month along with any other media that stood out to me. 

On that note please enjoy the ten films I did manage to watch this year. 

For a Full List 

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

References: Within The Wires S1, Creeped Out

"THE SCARIEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME IS A TRUE STORY. 

In October of 1994 three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while shooting a documentary. A year later their footage was found."

The Blair Witch Project is one of those films that takes on a near mythic legacy. Along with Twin Peaks, and The X-Files, it manages to complete the trifecta of defining my generations love of cold dark forests, cryptids, and small town secrets. While Twin Peaks and the The X-Files were definitely influences on shows like Fringe and Warehouse 13, BWP inspired less mainstream media.

Formatically, it was the harbinger of the Found Footage movement, which dominated horror as a bonified sub genre for almost a decade creating some absolutely memorable films. While it is true that Found Footage can be found in a variety of sub-genres. Most FF movies utilize the naturalistic acting and diegetic camera work that comes from the cinema verité influence of the Blair Witch. 

Thematically, you see the BWP marketing inspire an entire generation of Unfiction projects like Marble Hornets and EveryMan Hybrid the latter which was clearly echoed in Lela Lucia's Nettlebrook ARG which I was a fan and player of. 

Point is, The Blair Witch Project is the spiritual ancestor to the wealth of content that I grew up enjoying and therefore had a humungous weight on its shoulders to live up to expectations. 

I liked the phrasing in my original review so I'll quote it here to finish. 

"[I]t has a lot of elements that work for it but in terms of refinement it doesnt quite hit the mark. To be honest its hard to rate this film any higher when every aspect of it has been done stronger by a different film. Above and Below in terms of survival horror, Creep and V/H/S if were looking more towards Blair Witches Mumblegore ethos. it is an alright film because the genre has grown so much and built so much on the back of it. so to look at the foundation compared to the palace how to you find it anything more then pedestrian?[sic]"

Rating: Meh/Alright Film

Before I Wake (2016)

References: The Haunting of Hill House

"FEAR YOUR DREAMS. 

An orphaned child’s dreams—and nightmares—manifest physically as he sleeps."

Before I Wake is one of those films that I've seen the trailer to, too many times to count but never got around to watching. Luckily I did a scavenger hunt last year and this film was oddly apropos to one of the prompts. 

Before I Wake is probably one of the oddest of Flanagan's work that I've seen. There are some through lines that are familiar to his audience, (e.g this film deals with the grief of losing a child), but that is painted over with a strangely toothless plot filled with a lot of dark ride effects, which if you've read my reviews for As Above So Below(2014) or Friend Request(2016) you know I am a big fan of. /s

Therein lies the rub. This is Flanagan, so the production value of this is great, the movie looks fantastic and to be fair the madcap horror affects do fit the narrative. All that being said this is just not as strong of a film as I'm used to in Flanagan's canon. Nor can I say that this movie did a better job of dealing with grief and raising a child as The Babadook(2014) or weirdly enough Bachmans' "The Regulators", (surprising amount of parallels there now that I think about it). I don't think its a bad film but giving the rest of Flanagan's oeuvre it falls short. 

Rating: Meh/Alright Film

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

References: 11 Shows I'm Excited to see on Quibi

"MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

Arthur and his two children, Kathy and Bobby, inherit his Uncle Cyrus’s estate: a glass house that serves as a prison to 12 ghosts. When the family, accompanied by Bobby’s Nanny and an attorney, enter the house they find themselves trapped inside an evil machine “designed by the devil and powered by the dead” to open the Eye of Hell. Aided by Dennis, a ghost hunter, and his rival Kalina, a ghost rights activist out to set the ghosts free, the group must do what they can to get out of the house alive."

Thir13en Ghosts is another one of those movies I saw the trailer on VHS back when that was a thing and then it lived in my brain rent free ever since. This movie came out when I was 4 so suffice to say The Angry Princess didn't make the cut for family movie night. 

Also I know Ryan Murphy is trash but I would pay to watch him adapt this into a mini series just saying. 

Thirteen Ghosts is one of those movies that narratively makes absolutely no fucking sense but it just powers through that with an aggressive amount of aesthetic and camp. This is not a good movie but it is an absolutely fun horror romp. 

Rating: So Bad It's Good

A Cure For Wellness (2016)

References: 11 Shows I'm Excited to see on Quibi

"THERE IS A CURE 

An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company’s CEO from an idyllic but mysterious “wellness center” at a remote location in the Swiss Alps but soon suspects that the spa’s miraculous treatments are not what they seem."

So I apparently have a preternatural ability to watch a trailer for a movie think omg that looks so good I should totally watch this and then literally never watch the movie until 5 to 10 years later. 

This movie wound up on the watchlist due to it staring Dane Dehaan who I did enjoy in the film. Dehaan has this RBF and instead of him being typecast as anything sinister, like his later work, he gets casted as this bitchy annoyed-to-be-here character. Which honestly annoyed indifference is such a better vibe then his predecessor in folk horror Sergeant Howie, (I know I keep bringing him up but honestly fuck that guy). 

This movie is absolutely as aesthetic as it looks like in its trailers. Unfortunately despite its pretty visuals its TWO AND A HALF HOUR RUNTIME really slowed down its pace. This film along with Blade Runner 2049 managed to melt my brain when it came to longer movies. Next time Verbinski please take a page from Flanagan and turn your navel gazing passion project into a mini series. I will watch it, I just need to take a break every couple hours because my brain hurts and its dripping out of my ears and making a mess. 

Rating: It's Complicated

Zombeavers (2014)

References: Cabin Fever

"YOU’LL BE DAMMED!

College friends find their weekend of sex and debauchery ruined when deadly zombie beavers swarm their riverside cabin."

So I mentioned this in the same breath as Zombies vs. Strippers(2012) which is still to this day, probably one of my favorite full moon productions films, and now that I've actually Zombeavers it definitely deserves that comparison, (like in a good way). 

There is some argument about whether or not its possible to make intentional camp or if true camp lies in the failure of the genuine. the question is what makes a movie "So bad its good", can you make a gimmicky B-Movie but with a high class budget?

Now there have been a lot of horror-comedies that have asked the same question; some like Seedpeople(1992) and Thankskilling(2009) go the lets make it as low budget and ridiculous as we can; Others such as Jim Wynoski play into the camp tradition of Pornographic film to an absolutely stunning affect; And on the rare occasion films such as Slither(2006) and of course Zombeavers take elements that are traditional camp and play them hi-key and genuine. Well, at least as genuine as you can be with horror comedy. 

That's what I like about Zombeavers it's absolutely everything it says on the tin. It's a raunchy sex comedy where the himbos and bimbos fight off zombie beavers. So if you like raunchy fun horror romps then this ones for you. 

Rating: Popcorn Film

The Wicker Man (2006)

References: Candyman

"SOME SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE

A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there’s a larger mystery to solve among the island’s secretive, neo-pagan community."

OK we all know which line I quoted. 

I have most likely had this conversation way to many times at this point so here's the gist. 

The original Wicker Man is an absolutely fantastic film that was one of the forefathers of folk horror. It had an amazing sound track, cinematography and most importantly acting. It was an absolutely incredible vibe. This movie which NO NIC CAGE is not an "absurdist black comedy", is an absolute insult to not only the original but just to the genre in general. In lieu of any more details here's the "not the bees" copypasta.

"bitches ! you BITCHES ! THIS IS MURDER! *MURDER!* YOU'LL ALL BE GUILTY! and you're doing it for NOTHING!..... killing me won't bring back your GODDAMN HONEY! ARRRRRRRRRRRGH........ ooooooohhh.... i don't get it......... i'm not one of you..... i don't BELIEVE in your god !! i don't believe in sacrifice........ ARRRRRRRRGh......... oooooohhwww......... ohhhhwwww......... oH NO DONT MOVE ME AHHHHHHHHH WHA-AWWWWWWWW !! what is it? what is it? wha-what is it what IS IT WHAT IS IT?!!! OH NO NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEEEEEEEEES! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! OH THEYRE IN MY EYES! MY EYES!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!......................................... oh god........ oh mai gawd..... OH MAI GAWD" 

Rating: So Bad its Bad

Parasite (2019)

References: The Killing of a Sacred Deer

""All unemployed, Ki-taek’s family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident."

"

So it turns out that most of my, (non-movie) friends have somehow never heard of this film and I was like how? and they were like IDK and I'm like bruh this movie won the Palm D'or and like four Academy Awards. Trust me I'm not an academy stan but its not like this film didn't have an aggressive amount of publicity. 

I'm also trash so it took me two years to watch it.  

Like most critically acclaimed films I have absolutely nothing interesting to say about this movie. the class dynamics definitely felt incredible relatable, the cinematography was on point and there were some surprisingly funny moments. I absolutely get why people like this film and there's definitely plenty to be said about the story and subtext. 

Rating: Great Film/Personal Recommendation

Before I Fall (2017)

References: Russian Doll

"WHAT IF TODAY WAS THE ONLY DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Samantha Kingston has everything. Then, everything changes. After one fateful night, she wakes up with no future at all. Trapped into reliving the same day over and over, she begins to question just how perfect her life really was."

To Paraphrase the introduction to my Russian Doll article, while Groundhog Day did not invent the time loop story it did popularize and provide the blueprint for the occasional time loop movies that pop up every few years. These story beats are familiar the leitmotif that plays on an alarm clock, the morning montage where a series of quirky humorous events happen at a frequency that only movie magic can sell us, the character arc where the main character learns not to be a giant bitch all the time and live every day ironically likes its their last. 

Before I Fall takes this formula and combines it with a Girl Posse setting reminisce of the teen dramas of the late 90s and 2000s. That being said this combination drops both the comedic and melodramatic elements respectively for a surprisingly sincere and wholesome story. Well at least as wholesome as you can be when the story involves bullying and frequent car accidents. I want to be clear I don't dislike this film just that the combination leaves a very dry straight forward movie that doesn't really leave a lasting impression. 

Except for that one scene where the goth lesbian chick says "I'm in heterosexual hell". Love that

Rating: Meh/Alright Film

But I'm A Cheerleader (1999)

References: Russian Doll

"A COMEDY OF SEXUAL DISORIENTATION.

Megan is an all-American girl. A cheerleader. She has a boyfriend. But Megan doesn’t like kissing her boyfriend very much. And she’s pretty touchy with her cheerleader friends. Her conservative parents worry that she must be a lesbian and send her off to “sexual redirection” school, where she must, with other lesbians and gays learn how to be straight."

Oh My Fucking Goodness. I love this movie. 

A few days ago I wrote a very long article on Letterboxd where I bitched for a good hot minute about Academy Award winning queer trauma porn Dallas Buyers Club(2013) and fell down the deep rabbit hole of AIDS Denial, Quebecois director Jean-Marc Vallée's assertion that trans actresses just don't exist apparently, and script writer Craig Bolton straight-washing of queer aids activist Robert Woodroof. All that to say is that Hollywood continually likes to write, produce, and bestow numerous accolades upon films that present the queer experience as tragic, tortured, and dysphoric. As the kids say it's not a vibe. 

But I'm a Cheerleader is one of the few Queer Films I have seen that actual offers queer euphoria. Also Jamie Babbit is sapphic as hell and we stan Own Voices. This is literally one of the films that I will absolutely put on anytime I am in queer spaces. From the camp of the set designs, to the way that Babbit deconstructs the gender binary, to the absolute fucking icon that is high femme Natasha Leone disrupting a comp het wedding with a fucking gay ass cheer routine. This is an absolutely lovely time with the gays and we stan. 

Rating: WE ARE WATCHING THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW!

Love & Saucers (2017)

References: Our Strange Skies

"David Huggins, a 72 year-old New Jersey man, claims to have had a lifetime of encounters with otherworldly beings—including an interspecies romance with an extra-terrestrial woman (who he lost his virginity to). He’s chronicled it all in his surreal impressionist paintings. Are his experiences dreams, hallucinations, or could they be reality?"

I first heard of this film on the Our Strange Skies podcast, which you can read the review of above. While I don't remember much about the interview with Brad Abrahams, (I listened to this podcast over a year ago mind you), the idea of a 70 year old man who painted pictures of aliens stuck with me so when the scavenger hunt I was playing gave me the prompt "#36: A film based on real accounts of UFO sightings, alien abductions, and other similar things!" I figured this film was beyond apropos. 

Here's what up. I adored this documentary. Huggins is one of the most affable people I've ever seen interviewed. He comes off as this new age grandpa who practices I Ching and has a downright sexy amount of Sci-Fi VHS tapes. No serious its in the 100s' and it is very very hot. Nothing would really separate Huggins from your hippie uncle from Boulder if not for the fact that he had spent years chronicling his abductions by aliens through a large series of Impressionist erotic paintings. 

For me this film abstracted from the story really proved to me the value of the documentary. This was the first documentary I had seen that wasn't a Nat Geo production or something that David Attenborough was talking over. I had incorrectly assumed that all documentaries where dry, encyclopedic recitations of information about tax codes or something. This film really helped me understood that documentaries can be esoteric while also being about the esoteric. 

Overall this film is an absolute vibe. They are so many things I like about this movie and the only reason why its not on my where watching this right now list is that a guy losing his virginity to a big titty alien is a little too niche to share with my circle of acquaintances.

Rating: Great Film/Personal Recommendation.