Movies I Have Seen Part 2
Please enjoy my second listicle.
Hush(2016)
Referenced: Two Second Horror Stories, The Haunting of Hill House
"SILENCE CAN BE KILLERA deaf woman is stalked by a psychotic killer in her secluded home."
I remember watching hush pretty early into my horror buff phase, long before I had seen anything by Mike Flanagan and definitely before I unironically started simping for the scream queen that is Kate Siegel.
As far as an introduction to horror goes Hush is a fantastic film to watch. Its set up as an almost generic slasher film that turns into a more intimate game of cat and mouse. This is also one of the few horror films, (and lets be honest any film), that features a disabled character as Kate Siegel in this film plays a deaf-mute author.
The writting in this film, (which was co-written by Siegel), is incredible genre-savvy and works to deconstruct are ideas about slasher and home invasion films. I've only rewatched it once or twice but it still reminds me how great the subgenre can be and the absolute powerhouse that is Mr. and Mrs. Flanagan.
Rating: Were Watching This Right Now
Malevolent(2018)
Referenced: The Autopsy of Jane Doe, As Above So Below
"A brother-sister team who fake paranormal encounters for cash get more than they bargained for when a job at a haunted estate turns very, very real."
Malevolent is one of the last films I watched in 2019 and let's just say that it was not a great way to send off a pretty bad year of my life. This is one of the movies that looks absolutely bitching as a trailer but the whole film is an absolute dumpster fire from start to finish. I always find it a sore spot when an episode of something I watch pulls off the premise better then a full length film. If you want to see a good version of this premise I suggest you listen to "Chapter 4 - In the Basement" of the Darkest Night Podcast.
The movie starts out with a brother and sister paranormal investigation team who is hired to investigated ye old Victorian mansion. The plot is basic AF: there's on old lady, creepy ghost children, dark basements and the first half of the film goes nowhere fast. The interesting details from the trailer such as the guy listening to a self help cassette with those retro foam headphones completely underutilized. Oh also this film straight up just switched genres half way through. I'm trying not to spoil the films in this review but lets just say that this film quickly falls into a half-baked exploitations ending that feels completely dissatisfying.
There are only a few things that make this movie valuable. first It helped me discover Chauncey K. Robinson, a badass movie reviewer and it also inspired me to watch the Hostel series (2005, 2007).
Rating: So Bad It's Bad
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist(2008)
Referenced: Slasher S1
"EVERY NIGHT HAS A SOUNDTRACK.Nick cannot stop obsessing over his ex-girlfriend, Tris, until Tris’ friend Norah suddenly shows interest in him at a club. Thus beings an odd night filled with ups and downs as the two keep running into Tris and her new boyfriend while searching for Norah’s drunken friend, Caroline, with help from Nick’s band mates. As the night winds down, the two have to figure out what they want from each other."
For me there is something incredible and amazingly relaxing about driving around the city at night. The air is rarified and the lights and nightlife provide a sense of safety that you can't feel in the wilderness. Sometimes once in a blue moon someone will create a story that perfectly encapsulates this feeling. The feeling of driving down a brightly lit street at 2 AM in the morning feeling wired as the far off traffic lights turn into starbursts in your vision. Adventures in Baby Sitting(1987) for me, is the prime example of this, but lets move on.
If I'm being honest I don't have a really strong memorable of this film. I remember enjoying the film and thinking it was rather funny but the main sell for me was the main lead. I may or may not be madly in love with Kat Dennings. I eventually learned that she was in a rom com in the late 2000s and given that I am also obsessed with those it seemed like a match made in heaven, (OMG remember Just Like Heaven(2005)). It also had a really good soundtrack, (duh its called Nick and Noras INFINITE PLAYLIST), and overall was just a really fun time. This is one of those cutesy fun comedies that don't try too hard. Another great date night pick.
Rating: Good Movie/Personnel Recommendation
Hostel(2005)
Referenced: As Above So Below
"WELCOME TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMAREThree backpackers head to a Slovakian city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them."
I watched this film while on an Eli Roth kick after hearing mention of what Eli Roth calls his "Travel Trilogy" which is Cabin Fever(2002), Hostel 1-2, and Green Inferno(2013). As you can tell from the links I had covered two of the films in the list. There is a lot of interesting pieces of the hostel franchise to mention but I would like to point out the similarities between how the hostel works and the very old urban legend "The Vanishing Hotel Room". Obviously the reason why your friends are disappearing are because of a cabal of rich murderers and not because of the plague but that was a parallel I noticed.
The thing that makes Hostel such a memorable film is the concept and it is a perfect example of modern grindhouse. Showing us a disturbingly realistic story of human trafficking and torture. The horror of Hostel is that this could happen and more importantly it could happen to you. Now I will admit that this film is far from perfect. Personally, The power shift in this film was a bit abrupt which made this turn into an action thriller near the end of it. Some people say that you need to watch Hostel I & II together to get the full story and I'd have to agree. Hostel II really rounds out the story concept but we'll get into that later.
Rating: Meh/Alright Film
It Happened One Night(1934)
Referenced: Alice Isn't Dead S1
"TOGETHER… FOR THE FIRST TIMEA renegade reporter and a crazy young heiress meet on a bus heading for New York, and end up stuck with each other when the bus leaves them behind at one of the stops."
I mention this film while discussing road trip movie and according to Wikipedia or some shit this apparently counts. It Happened One Night was a very popular pre-hays code featuring Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable so if your into 1930s dreamboats your in luck. Also It Happened One Night has the honor of being the first film to win the "Big Five" Academy Awards, (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Adapted Screenplay.). If I'm being honest I don't remember much about this film. The only thing I really remember is the ending and how much I despised this film. I generally don't have an issue with the more sappier romances and I rather enjoyed other films I seen from the time period, (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington(1939) and Duck Soup(1933) come to mind), but I really hated this film. The More I examine my feelings about this movie the more those feelings become nebulous.
I consider maybe its because I dislike it because of its button-up romances but I feel that can't be the case since newer movies like Tammy and The Bachelor(1957), The Egg and I(1947), The Music Man(1962), and Charade(1963) (which were all created during the Hayes Code mind you), all feature incredible tame romances by todays standards and I loved all of those films. There's nothing I can pinpoint exactly that makes me hate this movie just the consistent feeling of distaste that resides with the memory. Let me know if you think I should rewatch it down below in the comments. While I'm at it I might as well watch Of Human Bondage(1934). Bette Davis was a write in nominee for best actress for her work in the film and the plot has always intrigued me.
Rating: It's Complicated
Interstate 60(2002)
Referenced: Alice Isn't Dead S1
"IT BEGAN AS A WISH, BECAME AN ADVENTURE, AND ENDED AS THE ULTIMATE ROAD TRIP.An aspiring painter meets various characters and learns valuable lessons while traveling across America."
The Road trip is a fascinating subgenre in film especially when you consider how closely it aligns with America's own perception of its country and the way it ties into things like American regionalism and Americana. The Road trip film is hard to extract from its cultural basis but the one thing that has always stood out to me in road trip films was that of self discovery. A Road trip is an adventure, it is a journey, and hopefully like all good adventures, the adventurers grow as they make they way to the destination. Interstate 60 is a film that entirely focuses on its self discovery, it still has the staples of the American Roadtrip, Diners, Flat Tires, and Tourist Traps but small town America is always subservient to our main characters growth. Since the blurb I gave you was shit and because I might be waxing a bit poetic. Here's the gist. Our main protag is a starving artist type who through some matrix level amount of surrealism gets a courier job and makes a Faustian pact with a guy named O.W. Grant (He also smokes a Monkey-Head Pipe if you haven't gotten the hints yet). Oh also he needs to take Interstate 60 which does not exist.
The story that follows is an ouroboros, a series of vignettes and happenings that make sense in the moment but don't tie into the main plot and that's OK because that's the purpose of the road and the Road trip to give us spectacle and novelty and then move on to the next invisible border. This movie is the height of surrealism and perfectly encapsulates the feeling of adventure and Americana that is the Americana Roadtrip story. Most importantly it's stylish. It has a unique quirky tone and knows what it is as a film. I'm probably not selling it but I love this film. It reminds me of watching obscure movies with my mom and enjoying something that wants, likes its protagonist, to make art for art sakes. Not for the glory of obfuscation and elitism, not for cheap commercialism but to make something beautiful, profound, unique, and a bit to full of itself but in a wholesome way. OK OK I'll stop rhapsodizing its just a very special film to me.
Rating: Were watching this film right now
Delirious
Referenced: Marianne
"A COMEDY ABOUT A SOAP OPERA WRITER WHO’S TYPING WITHOUT A RIBBONA soap opera writer gets hit on the head and wakes up as a character in his own show."
First of all I really hate these uninspired plot description I mean come-on Letterboxd get your shit together.
If you are a fan of John Candy then you will be prepared for the type of wacky screwball comedy that was big in the late 80s early 90s. If you have literally never heard of this man then I am sorry for your sad pitiful existence. Let me break down why I love this film.
John Candy plays a soap opera writer and has a crush on the main lead. The producers feel that his writing is getting a little stale, (three of the characters had brain tumors last season but in his defense it was a very long season), and they want to shake things up. After some real life drama and a short drop off of a small cliff, Candy winds up in his own creation. Oh also he has a typewriter that allows him to fuck shit up. One of the things that I really love about the film is that it plays its premise so well. This film is basically a parody of a soap opera with a self insert character but well written and wholesome.
Rating: Great Film/Personnel Recommendation.
IT
Referenced: Marianne, Taking A Quick Bite
"YOUR FEARS ARE UNLEASHEDIn a small town in Maine, seven children known as The Losers Club come face to face with life problems, bullies and a monster that takes the shape of a clown called Pennywise."
IT was one of the first films that I watched in college at the Pony Village Theater. While I am both a big fan of Stephen King and Tim Curry, I have yet to see the original acclaimed Mini-Series, (yes, yes I know I'm trash).
I want to be straight up and let you know that I can't speak about whether this is a good adaptation but I can say that from the Stephen King films I have seen this is one of the better one, (In case your wondering my least favorite is Cujo(1983)) The main thing that stuck with me from the movie was how well produced it was. Now I am a little hipster bitch and so I'm used to smaller independent horror films so to see a horror film with a blockbuster budget it was pure sakuga. Cleary the film uses a large amount of CGI but it is well integrated both with the set and the equally stylish practical effects. (BTW Javier Botet cameos as the Leaper in this). There also some really great moments of horror in this movie but you also get some heart (of a child in a jar on his desk. Sorry not sorry) to this film as you watch the Loser Club scrub blood off the bathroom tiles, witness abuse, and defeat eldritch horrors in the subterranean caverns of the sleepy little burg. Y'know normal summer vacation stuff. This is a well-crafted film and has giving me some hope for modern horror blockbusters.
Rating: Great Film/ Personal Recommendation
13 Cameras
Referenced: Marianne
"CHANGE YOUR LOCKSNewlyweds Claire and Ryan have just moved into a new house. Both are hoping Claire’s pregnancy will be the cement needed to hold their already fraying relationship together. Little do they know their marital issues are the least of their problems. For unbeknownst to them, their scruffy, sleazy and lascivious landlord has installed numerous miniature cameras all over their home and has been spying on the 13 m from Day One. Then Ryan begins an office affair, and the landlord kits out the secret basement with chains and soundproofing. Something is going to give in this suburban shocker packed with nasty surprises."
There are some films that I have disliked so heavily that I have repressed the plot and any interesting piece of information about it. This is one of those films. Best try for a elevator pitch for this is home-invasion style exploitation film matched with the pacing of Paranormal Activity(2007). Considering that I absolutely loathe PA you can guess how I feel about this film.
Let's talk about what was good about this movie. Neville Archambault face that's it. He was the perfect casting choice for this film and can I just say I know this man. This creepy balding lecherous man. The one that makes you uncomfortable and is a bit too "friendly". Also just to split hairs while I disliked the character, Archambault does a great performance he sells it. This is just a crap film. First issue I have, this movie is boring maybe I don't get "Thrillers" and for others this was a thrill ride but I was mind numbingly bored.
Lets have a little fun and compare it to Creep(2014). Both films have an obsessive voyeuristic killer but I would say that Creep provides a better understanding of the murderer then 13C ever did. Why does this landlord do all this shit. Why is he obsessed with these specific tenants? what's up with the ending? This movie just gives us a character who does shit and doesn't explore why? Some horror genres like Slashers can get away with not giving you backstory but those genres rely on spectacle and other narrative devices to drive the plot. You don't have to give us all the answers in horror but you need to give us a glimpse you need to allows us to get to the cusp of understanding even if you allow to fear of the unknown. Show us something. The killer in this has no motivation he's just creepy and does fucked up shit. Lets move on from this.
The main characters have no personality and there's some petty drama that's not that interesting. Then they get murdered. The end. Go find a gif of Archambault staring up at one of the cameras. Watch that for an hour and a half. There you go you didn't even have to buy the film.
Rating: So Bad It's Bad
Unfriended
Referenced: Friend Request
"ONLINE, YOUR MEMORIES LAST FOREVER. BUT SO DO YOUR MISTAKES.While video chatting one night, six high school friends receive a Skype message from a classmate who killed herself exactly one year ago. At first they think it’s a prank, but when the girl starts revealing the friends’ darkest secrets, they realize they are dealing with something out of this world, something that wants them dead."
Unfriended is one of the movies that I didn't watch for years even though it looked really good. Everyone else watched it and promptly decide to hate it and then I finally watched it years later and decided to die on this hill. So here's the thing, I get why people might not like this film. Besides the found footage aspect, (cause people really love to hate on found footage films straight up), there are some flaws with the film. All of the murders happen off camera, the main characters are all kinda assholes and if you're not paying attention you can miss the plot of the story.
Here's what is good about the film. First off all the entire movie is filmed as a screen capture, which while not technically the first ("The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger" short from V/H/S (2012) used the format 2 years prior), definitely utilized the conceit to the best of its ability. Since we are firmly in the information age you think there would be more FF films that center around what we do online, (that being said there are internet movies both good or bad I.E Cam(2018) vs Smiley(2012)), as far as I've seen besides the V/H/S short, this films sequel(2018), and Shudder's The Host (2020) screen recorded found footage is entirely underutilized. This is arguable a fairly unique film in terms of framing and the creators spent a lot of time capitalizing on the fact that the character is on a computer. The character talks to her friends on Skype, she looks things up online, she watches YouTube videos, She tries to log in to accounts. This movie feels realistic. It feels like this woman is sitting at her desk in real time and looking up things online and from a narrative cinematic standpoint there is a richness of information that is presented. There are little background details that help flesh out the story besides the surface level of the plot.
Another part of the film I enjoyed is that despite it falls firmly into the slasher/teen elimination genre is that it has a message and subtext. This isn't just a silly movie about a bunch of friends being murdered by an angry ghost. It was a revenge story about a girl who took her life because of cyberbullying. Is this film a glorious deep cross section of one girls life and death and the horrific pain that we inflict on each other; No. Is this film a clever, innovative, and decent horror film that despite its flaws still provides a satisfyingly story; Yes. It is a really good film and it's sad that so many people chocked this film up to being a cheap cash grab when it's clear there was a lot of love put into this film.
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